End of Semester Struggles

I just finished my first Masters critique ever, and I couldn't be more relieved to be done with the project. The last couple of weeks has been pretty tough on me. Now I really know that juggling work and trying to excel in Masters is not an easy feat. Not to mention at least trying to keep a decent social life in that equation.

So as I said, it has been a rough couple of weeks. It got to the point that I almost cried at my office desk when I wasn't even on break. It got to the point that I was weeping over songs because it reminded me of home. It got to the point that video calling with friends became a bawling session. I just broke down. 

There are so many things expected of me, including my own self expectations. 

Without me realizing it, I've been working for about 6 months now, and that poses some higher expectations from my bosses and colleagues. They expect me to be an architect, or at least act like one, when honestly sometimes I'm not even confident with my own colour choices. I still have a lot to learn but it seems that I have to start picking up the pace at this point if I want to continue impressing them. 

With studies, I've never really had a big problem with it. But starting about a year and a half ago, I really started excelling. And so this becomes addictive.

So come this semester, I felt so burnt out, and my grades show for it. It's not that I'm failing subjects or anything, but given my track record from Bachelors, I know I should be doing better.

What's keeping me going though, is the fact that all this will be worth it some day. Working in Australia isn't an opportunity I'm about to give up easily just because I'm tired. And quitting studies is definitely not an option particularly because I know once I've stopped, it'd probably take me a while to warm up to the idea of hitting the studios and have late nights again. 

But you know what, all in all, I know I'm very blessed. Not many people get the opportunities that I have. I know there are a lot of other people out there that would kill to get a scholarship to study abroad, and a lot of are searching for jobs, when I've already secured one while I'm studying. I shouldn't and won't waste what's been given to me. I just have to pick up my game. 

Though for now, I'm just going to give myself the day to take a breather and enjoy some me time because heck, I deserve it.

Here's to the (almost) end of semester.

And here's to a well deserved break in July soon! I can't wait. 

What I've been up to (Part 2);

I have a job.

Like a legit job in a legit Architecture company.

And I'm getting paid (this is by far, the second best if not the best part - next to the experience of course, I'm meant to say this)

Having a job, especially here in Brisbane, is one of my proudest achievements, I would say. For locals, it may not be such a big thing, but for an international Muslim student like me, it's a milestone. Because it definitely doesn't come by easily.

Taking the job did require me to sacrifice my holidays, though. But it was worth it.

It's been great so far, the job. The environment is great, the people are amazing and my bosses are nothing short of super. I love working (even though sometimes I need some extra motivation money to remind me to get up early and catch the 7.30 am bus every morning).

The way they treat us here is way different than how they would in a Malaysian company. I know this because I've worked in Malaysia too, and it's just ... different.

They are ever willing to teach, to answer your sometimes stupid questions and they want to help. They also understand that there is a life outside work and no one is obligated to stay past the allotted time.

Everyday I feel truly blessed to have been given such an opportunity. Though there are times that I wished I could stay at home and sleep in a bit longer, the opposite end of the spectrum gives me so much more.

I also love the fact I get to dress up a bit to work! Adding these pictures in just because. Teehee.

Yes, I'm still alive (and kicking very hard!)

Well hello there again.

It's been more than a year since my last post, and though I've not been faithful to this blog, I still do write my thoughts from time to time. It's just that I feel my writings the past year were a bit too personal to share on here so I decided to keep them for myself. But I'm back here because I've missed sharing things with the general public, whoever you readers may be.

So first things first,

I'VE GRADUATED !

Already three fifths an architect as of December 2016, now continuing my studies in Masters of Architecture at University of Queensland and working as a student architect in an architecture firm here in Brisbane. 

Photo credits: Hanif Hamzah (MHII on Facebook)

Here's from one of my pre-graduation photoshoots with my buddy Hans. His work is amazing. 

Photo credits: Hans Kamaruzaman (Instagram: @teaforthursday)

It's funny how things work out in the end, you know. I started out in architecture school 3 years ago, not even wanting to do architecture, but because of my circumstances, sort of forced me into the situation. In first year, I used to "not get it"- the whole creative and design process, all the while thinking that I'm going to hate my 3 years of degree life. But Allah's plans are always on point. He knows what's best while we know not. I forced myself to love what I do, and you know what, I actually do enjoy the field. Once I found and used my strengths to my benefit, things started to fall into place. Of course it takes a whole lot of work and a whole lot of will power, but everyone gets there eventually. We shouldn't be too pressured into following other people. 

Every little progress is still progress. 

It's been an amazing ride, my life in Australia and there has not been a day that goes by that I don't feel truly blessed. So thank you to Him, and everyone that's help made it happen for me. 

More about my 2017 self development goals in posts to come (hopefully!)

New Semester, New Spirit

Damn, that's a beautiful mess ain't it? Lol

It’s no secret that I constantly have a love hate relationship with my course. Last semester was without a doubt, mostly hate for me. I was stressed all the time, I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights. I was unhappy with a lot of the things that was going on in my life, personally and academically. Everything just wasn’t right, or at least didn’t feel right to me.

It’s funny because when I think back to last semester, I started the year really excited. I felt so keen on that project at first. But after the first half of the semester, after meeting my tutors week in, week out, getting lame rejections every single week, I became so sick of it that I just wanted it all to be over. Sure enough, after it was finally over, I rejoiced like nobody’s business and I was back to my normal cheerful (albeit a bit crazy) self.

I came back this semester with less enthusiasm as compared to how I was at the start of the year, mainly because I don’t want to get my hopes crushed just as it had a few months back. However, this semester has been lovely to me so far. Though I use a lot of my spare time (times I’m not in class) to do the work, it doesn’t feel like an extra burden to me, a feeling that I haven’t felt for the past six months.

This semester, we’re asked to design a dual occupancy house and a café/corner store. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that’s making me feel more excited this semester now that we're already four weeks in. Could it be that the project interests me? Could it be that I’m not dwelling with too many personal problems anymore? Could it be that I myself made a point to feel happy and not put unnecessary pressure unto myself?

Or maybe it’s just because I’m in desperate need to save my CGPA lel (kidding kidding) (okay, not really)

Jokes aside, my hunch is that it’s a mixture of all those reasons. Whatever it is, I know that this is Allah’s doing. Even if it gets difficult, it is so that we’ll keep on coming back to Him.

“Verily, Allah will never burden us with something we cannot handle”

“Verily, with each difficulty, comes ease”

Never mind the fact that I have to do over twenty models,

Never mind the fact that I know there’re going to be many late nights and probably more sleepless nights,

Never mind the fact that I might be upset from time to time because I’m stumped for ideas,

In shaa Allah, with the right intentions, He’ll always be our unbreakable handhold and He’ll guide us through and through.

In shaa Allah.

Want in on my little secret ...

.. to drawing anything?

I'm not an expert on drawing. Trust me I feel shitty looking at other people's work all the time. Not even kidding.

But some people have asked me what my secret is to drawing, especially drawing portraits.

So here goes my little secret;

It's practice.

I cannot stress enough that practicing anything will do wonders for absolutely anything.

I only really started drawing portraits seriously a year ago and trust me I sucked big time (Click here to see one of my first few portraits, trust me you'll laugh really hard).

But trust me when I say everybody has to start from somewhere. Not everyone is a gifted De Caprio or Van Gogh. I truly truly truly believe that being able to draw is not just a gift we were born with, it's something that has to be discovered, developed, perfected over time.

The difference between mediocre artists and great artists are that great ones have passion, patience and willingness to keep on practicing.

Over time, we'll find our own style, favoured media, discover difference techniques and everything else that comes with practicing. As for me, I haven't discovered my style yet but I guess that's exactly what's keeping me going.

So there goes my little secret. Now, get on to it!

Happy practicing! 

Rumours on Architecture Students' Life; Truth or Myth

It's been a semester and a half since I've delved into the world of architecture and I think this is actually the first time I feel that I don't feel any reservations to talk about it.
So, what's the verdict on the course so far?

Here are some of the rumours I've heard about an architecture students' life before I entered uni and I'm going to tell you whether it's the truth or just a myth based on my 6 months so far.

*Note : These are just my two cents on the rumours based on my 6 months in University of Queensland. It may be completely different in other unis and other countries :) .

Rumour #1 Crazy Workload
Without a doubt, hands down, this is the truth.
I see my friends who are doing engineering and pharmacy having time to read manga and sleep for hours during the day. That kind of luxury is never associated to an architecture student, I can tell you that.

Rumour #2 Bye-bye Sleep 
I would say the rumours about not getting to sleep at night are true for some but not for me. I get to sleep for about a maximum of 6 hours at night, normally no more than that. But to get that amount of sleep, work has to be consistent and I cannot slack during the day (Read: I don't have time much fun)

Rumour #3 Crits are the work of the devil
Truth and Myth. It really depends on who is at your crit at the time. I've never had a particularly terrible critique but I've heard that some guys in my studio were bashed about their work even before they got to say a word. So yes, crits can be a bit scary especially for people who aren't used to expressing ideas in such a romanticized way (like me ._.)

Rumour #4 Lots of money will go to projects
A definite truth. Equipments in general are expensive. The other day I lost my #63 scale ruler. $12 later, I got myself a new one. For locals, $12  may be nothing but for me $12 = RM 36 . Of course, when it comes to my art supplies, I try to tell myself not to convert the money but when things get magically lost, it really hurts my pocket when I have to replace them.
So far we've used lots of balsa wood, foam boards, clay and they don't exactly come cheap either. Miniature trees and people are not something you'd want to buy if you're on a tight budget. Not to forget printing costs. 
So, to avoid burning a hole in my already cratered pocket, I try to skimp on other things like eating out and of course one of my favourite pastimes (Shopping!). I also buy stuff at the uni workshop even though the process is a bit tedious because the materials there are a lot cheaper. Put in more effort to save the costs! 

Rumour #5  Overnights at the studio
This one is one that I can't confirm because I've never done it myself so I don't really know whether a lot of my friends do it. To be honest, it's a lot easier to work there because then, we won't have to lug our stuff back and forth from the studio to home especially our models. But for me, it's more of because I don't feel comfortable with boys sleeping right next to me and I can't take of my scarf etc so even if I do stay at the studio, I don't do overnights. Again, in order to do this, no slacking during the day!

Rumour #6 You have to be able to draw
Myth. People always think that architects should be able to produce beautiful drawings but honestly that's not the case. I have friends who aren't really good at drawing, but their ideas are really awesome and because of the technology nowadays, being able to draw by hand to communicate ideas is not as necessary as it used to be, though I would say it is very useful to put forward quick ideas. Having said that, a lot of people though not all who are doing architecture can produce beautiful artwork. Architecture is another branch of art and normally people who want to do architecture are interested in art. Hence, rumour #6. 

Rumour #7 We like to wear a lot of black
Okay, I don't know how this rumour circulated. Probably there's an architecture school some place some where that makes it compulsory for the students to wear black but I can tell you, this is definitely untrue. In UQ at least.

So there you go. A few rumours that I could think of and whether they're true or not. Of course, there are a lot more rumours but I can't think of them right now. I won't say that what I've said is a myth or is the truth will stay that way because hey, I've only been here 6 months plus. I have so so so many more years to go until I really really get a taste of the real thing. Of course it's just wishful thinking that it won't get any tougher. Everything gets tougher when you grow older. The more knowledge we gain, the more we realise we don't really know anything at all.

Some photos of my current project. The one that I'm going to submit at 4 pm today. Wish me luck!

Daily fix of Architecture

Ever since I decided taking on Architecture, I've been trying to familiarize myself with the field itself. Some people keep on telling me how afraid they are that I won't have any inspiration once I enter degree life and furthermore, my career. It hurts me that they have such little faith in me sometimes. But I guess the worry didn't surface from nothing. I've been a Science student all my life (with a dash of love for arts that I seldom express in public). I'm not the best artist, neither am I the smartest Science student. I'm somewhere in between, mediocre in both aspects. Though I must say I am blessed that I have been given a chance to explore both fields (as opposed to some people who claim that they have tangan kayu or are terrible in Math and cannot make sense of Physics, Chemistry and Biology).

Anyway this post is actually a tribute to one of my newly found favourite architect blog. I found this blog just a few days ago in my quest to "familiarize myself with the field". This website features interesting buildings from around the world and gives about a hundred links to other architecture websites that may be useful to new architects (or to those who so-called need inspiration like me).

To be objective about the buildings he features (I presume the person writing the blog is a he, I'm not so sure), not all of them I find particularly breathtaking or even pretty but somehow they're featured. I guess it is true when people say that art is subjective. I do believe that he aims, not to feature the prettiest buildings, but rather the most exotic of them. One of his post on the Subway Station (2000) in Tokyo, Japan  features weird looking green pipes fixed above the escalator. I don't particularly like it, because it kind of reminds me of celery sticks and other kinds of green vegetables but hey! who am I to judge one of the healthiest countries around, right? 

So yeah, this is how I spend some of my free time (for now). Hopefully some inspiration will come to me soon. Pray for me :)

This is a continuation to my previous post Hello There, Architect

Hello there, Architect.

After months and months of dwelling over which course to take (Civil or Chemical Engineering, Medicine or Dentistry), finally the decision has been made.

Architecture has never featured in my list of "Courses to Consider". I never thought that it will, and never did it occur to me that this will be the path I choose. I cannot say that it is still early to tell, because it isn't early. The decision was made just a about a month ago, and the thought scares me. Why architecture? Why? Isn't it weird that something that I never considered suddenly made its way in my mind?

I've heard so many stories of people who take architecture; and not all of them are good. Those who are enthusiastic about their work excites me to take on the challenge of following their path. There are also those who discourage me, those who end up quitting the course or are not practising architects that make me think twice for fear that I am directed the same way.

It all boils down to what I feel, and what I feel now is that it is the best path. Insya-Allah my chosen path. I believe He knows best and I'm sure there was a reason why he closed certain paths when He did. He has my back. I know it.

I just hope that I'll live through it. Then I'll be able to tell you my story as an architect in future.