Missing my doppelganger

I’m already 20 but I really miss home right now.

Particularly my doppelganger i.e my mum

I grew up really close to my dad and my brother, and probably have them to thank for my less than feminine traits sometimes. I grew up thinking how much the girls in my family weren’t cool enough.

But as I grew older, I just grew older. I became interested in different things, talked about different topics - topics only my mum and my sister would understand and know what to say (or not say). I came to understand why mum used to scold me for certain things, why she put me through so many classes, why she was so tired all the time etc.

And that understanding peaked especially after my sister gave birth to my (adorable) nephew.

Man, was she beat all the time. She works and comes back home to children (I guess husbands can be big babies too at times (?) lol, I don’t know). On weekends when she comes back to our family home, hanging out at a shopping mall for four hours with her is no more an option because her kid is getting restless, or pooped.  

When I see her tired but still manage to put on a smiling face for a crying child, I realise, damn that was my mum once upon a time. And all that she used to say and do kind of made sense.

Which is why I’m trying to make amends for some hurtful things I said, call her as much as I can, and try to make her happy in general because let’s face it, be it old or young, she needs me just as much as I need her. 

Big ass baby misses her mama right now.