Effort & Consistency;

Continuation of my previous post, Relationships -- random rant

Relationships require a tonne of effort from both parties. Both have to play a part in keeping the love alive. Let’s face it, after the honeymoon period, reality starts kicking in. You’ll realise that just sweet talk won’t get the relationship anywhere.

She’ll start comparing your relationship with other relationships, she’ll start scrolling through her twitter timeline and see an abundance of sweet, albeit unrealistic, ‘Relationship Goals’, she’ll start thinking of your future together etc. etc. And you can’t stop her. No matter how much you try to stop her from thinking about it, she won’t and can’t.

That’s a girl for you and that’s what we do. Just as men say that they can’t control certain funny feelings, we can’t control overthinking sometimes because that’s just how we’re made. Deal with it.

But a girl can’t use that as an excuse to have too high an expectation on her partner. It’s unfair, and quite frankly, stupid, to put high expectations on a 20-something-year-old guy because he probably doesn’t know how to take care of himself yet, let alone a woman (sorry guys, but it’s just how I feel sometimes hehe).

Okay, but again, in all seriousness, it’s not wise or fair to put high expectations on someone because we’re human after all. Whether we like it or not, we’ll err in some way and disappointment is not far behind. It takes effort to keep the relationship strong.

There is no such thing as ‘I’ll just wait and see what happens’ in a relationship. Make it happen. Spoil her with effort and consistency. A little effort goes a long way if you want to make it last (especially for a hopeless romantic like me! take the hint guys, please! :p). Trust me when I say, little things you do rarely go unnoticed.

To me, making an effort (and time) is one of the most important things in a relationship which is why I made this a post on its own. Sometimes we’re not expecting big gestures like sending presents, or going on romantic dates every other week. I won’t lie, there are times that we want them, but honestly we won’t cut you for not doing them. Simple things like walking your girl home, making lunch plans, or being patient in making sure she’s alright after she cries, calming her down, calling her and is actually interested to know how her day was– trivial things like that matter. It may not matter to some, but I can bet that even the coolest of us girls will melt when an effort is made for her.

This goes for the ladies as well but I guess it comes more naturally to women as compared to men. Relationships are a two way street. Understand that he can get really busy at times and that he can’t call or text you. Understand that if he’s paying for your meal, he may have to forego another days lunch. Understand that if he gives you even the cheapest of gifts on a random day, he still cared enough to think about you.

Make effort, make time.

And if you’re not willing to do it despite knowing how much she craves for that little bit of attention, reflect how you really feel about her. Deep down, you already know how you feel, it’s whether you want to accept those feelings or not; so maybe it’s time you let her go and let her heal.

This is probably why I’m not cut out for relationships. Men that want to make an effort seem hard to come by. I hope for the best, in shaa Allah. Verily, He is the best planner and he knows what’s best for me, while I may not.